A concept that I found interesting was in chapter 3 about empathic listening. I personally believe that this is the best kind of listening, especially in an informal setting. In short, empathic listening is showing concern and care, or empathy to the person who is talking. The book describes the best way to show empathy is through paraphrasing, and I completely agree. Usually when I use empathic listening, it is for someone who is venting about their problems. When people vent, they just need to talk about it without the other person interrupting. Paraphrasing is a great way to give short tidbits of advice and show care to that person. Trenholm’s tells us that if we use empathic listening and paraphrasing like a formula, we will appear to be the exact opposite and look like we do not care. In order to be an empathic listener, you need to genuinely care about either the person doing the talking, or the issue they are talking about.
Empathetic listening a concept I feel does not get the mention it deserves. I don’t want to generalize but a noticeable part of the population can be considered “wired” into media so I think a lot of fundamental communication skills have diminished because of this. I have stopped hanging out with multiple people because of their inability to engage in a serious conversation. Empathetic listening is a deeper kind of listening compared to the others because of the emotional involvement. I also agree that paraphrasing is helpful you don’t want someone to interject constantly when a serious topic is being discussed. I know when I’m having a bad day it helps to vent to my boyfriend because he quietly listens throughout the speech and gives his advice after I have finished.
ReplyDeleteKylie,
ReplyDeleteI also, found the concept of empathic listening interesting. The book points out that often, we undermine the importance of listening, however, listening is a very important aspect when trying to “make sense of life” (or rather to understand “true meanings” behind words etc.) in communication. You make a great point when expressing the necessity to be empathetic listeners to those who—when venting about their problems—just need someone to listen to them without interrupting. Although, from a Performative Model perspective, I don’t necessarily believe someone has to genuinely care “about either the person doing the talking, or the issue they are talking about” but rather give the impression that s/he cares about the person/topic of discussion.
Kylie Jones,
ReplyDeleteWhen people are venting about their problems to you, I agree that empathic listening is the best way for you to show that you care. People vent to others because they can trust them and know that they will give them good advice. Paraphrasing shows that you are really listening to what the speaker is saying and help you get a better understanding of the situation. You have to be able to truly listen to their problems and not interpret while they are speaking. They just want someone to talk to and get some advice on what they should do next.
Lauren
I too agree with you that empathetic listening is the best and most important type of listening. When we listen to others, especially when listening to someone vent, the number one job we have is to help them or give feedback. So when you use empathy, you show just how much you care which makes it easier and more fulfilling for the sender to send. I feel like it would be a nice thing to have the receiver genuinely care and give feedback that they really mean. But, if you dont, the most important part is just making sure the sender feels you do. For example, listening to a friend's same guy problem over and over. It gets old really fast, and you stop caring because they dont take your advice. But as long as it helps them and makes them feel better, then that's all that matters. Great post!
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